I leave in a month and this is happening to me again...I grew up in France and went to an international school, I changed friends every 3 years because they would leave. I left a lot of friends behind in France when I moved to Canada in 2007 and now I am leaving Vancouver to go to Toronto.
check it out:
There are 2 types of people maybe 3...
1) THE SCARED FRIEND
As departure hurts, they try to make it easier for themselves by cutting ties immediately.
This often translates in no longer calling, no longer answering texts (well, when I was a child it was written messages/notes in the classroom that were no longer passed around to those that were leaving), no longer inviting you to dinner.
These people aggressively seek new friends to fill the void, so once the FRIEND has left they have someone as a back-up.
I think, this one has hurt me and continues to. They still love you but are scared.
I remember being at school and every 3 years my best friend would leave, and then finally I left when I was 18 and then again at 25.
Before the age of 19, I was guilty of being the SCARED FRIEND, my friends have/are guilty of this. It is cowardly and sad, in my opinion.
I woke-up when my granddad passed away when I was 19 - I grew up and realised that there is more to friendship than the surface stuff: there is a person under the title FRIEND.
THIS FRIEND IS A LOVING COWARD.
2) THE CLING-ON or FOREVER FRIEND
These are the nicest and most comforting. They are the ones that understand that departure is not an end just a new beginning. These friends think about your looming departure and decide to get some YOU-TIME in as much as possible. They drive or go out of their way to pop-in and check in with you. I have noticed that the more sensitive the person the more they do this. Those boisterous ones are too proud maybe?
It is nice to know someone has your back any where in the world and that friendship doesn't have to be in one place. I can only think of my family when I write this. Since the age of 18 I have lived away from my parents and my brother separated by sea and land. I know they always have my back and even if they don't call, they are thinking of me.
THIS FRIEND LOVES AND RESPECTS YOU JUST AS YOU DO THEM.
3) THE SELFISH FRIEND
You do find out when you leave who your true friends are, when you leave or announce that you are leaving some friends only think of the repercussion on their own lives. They do not put themselves in your shoes, they have no use for you anymore and completely wipe you from their lives in a mean way. There is no love in this choice just ego.
I have lost friends this way and in a way it is easier to take than FRIEND 1 as you know they probably never loved you in the first place. They are the users in life.
THESE FRIENDS HAVE HUGE DESTRUCTIVE EGOS AND DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU.
WITH YOUR FRIENDS:
What are you? Who are you? Have you been all 3 in your life? Are you making a mistake? Have you made a mistake?
Written by Sophie Ann Rooney (June 9th 2010)
There are 2 types of people maybe 3...
1) THE SCARED FRIEND
As departure hurts, they try to make it easier for themselves by cutting ties immediately.
This often translates in no longer calling, no longer answering texts (well, when I was a child it was written messages/notes in the classroom that were no longer passed around to those that were leaving), no longer inviting you to dinner.
These people aggressively seek new friends to fill the void, so once the FRIEND has left they have someone as a back-up.
I think, this one has hurt me and continues to. They still love you but are scared.
I remember being at school and every 3 years my best friend would leave, and then finally I left when I was 18 and then again at 25.
Before the age of 19, I was guilty of being the SCARED FRIEND, my friends have/are guilty of this. It is cowardly and sad, in my opinion.
I woke-up when my granddad passed away when I was 19 - I grew up and realised that there is more to friendship than the surface stuff: there is a person under the title FRIEND.
THIS FRIEND IS A LOVING COWARD.
2) THE CLING-ON or FOREVER FRIEND
These are the nicest and most comforting. They are the ones that understand that departure is not an end just a new beginning. These friends think about your looming departure and decide to get some YOU-TIME in as much as possible. They drive or go out of their way to pop-in and check in with you. I have noticed that the more sensitive the person the more they do this. Those boisterous ones are too proud maybe?
It is nice to know someone has your back any where in the world and that friendship doesn't have to be in one place. I can only think of my family when I write this. Since the age of 18 I have lived away from my parents and my brother separated by sea and land. I know they always have my back and even if they don't call, they are thinking of me.
THIS FRIEND LOVES AND RESPECTS YOU JUST AS YOU DO THEM.
3) THE SELFISH FRIEND
You do find out when you leave who your true friends are, when you leave or announce that you are leaving some friends only think of the repercussion on their own lives. They do not put themselves in your shoes, they have no use for you anymore and completely wipe you from their lives in a mean way. There is no love in this choice just ego.
I have lost friends this way and in a way it is easier to take than FRIEND 1 as you know they probably never loved you in the first place. They are the users in life.
THESE FRIENDS HAVE HUGE DESTRUCTIVE EGOS AND DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU.
WITH YOUR FRIENDS:
What are you? Who are you? Have you been all 3 in your life? Are you making a mistake? Have you made a mistake?
Written by Sophie Ann Rooney (June 9th 2010)
Great, really well written...
ReplyDeleteKeep it true!
One of your old French friends : Ben.
(I hope I'm not the selfish one! ;) )
You forgot the silent friends.
ReplyDeleteThe ones we haven't seen for more than 10years, but we can always count on..., like Youthfriends?
Sometimes life is a bitch and forces us to walk a road that we might not like. I moved to Paris, to keep my parents happy, now I moved to Germany to keep my fiance happy... . In my pursuit of happiness, I try to keep others satisfied. Unfortunately in order to keep one happy, another gets sad.
Intentions, Characters, Attitudes, when these are all misunderstood, that's what I call sad.
It breaks not just a heart, but a complete personality.
However, what keeps me going is the "moment".
When the time comes to leave this world, I want to be able to say: "I was always true to people and myself, I never had any bad intentions"
It doesn't matter if we'll make it in life or not, what matters is that we feel victorious when we are leaving it.
It's hard to move out again, I know, really..., but just keep moving forward!
PS: cool blog, be yourself, don't let others
bother you.
Navid
No Ben you aren't the selfish friend. How are you doing? I see you are also married, congratulations!
ReplyDeleteNavid good to hear from you, I hope life is treating you very well