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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Big Mac versus Filet Mignon Acting

The word Calibre is often used to identify a hardworking, powerful and talented actor but I am going to steer clear of the weapon terminology so often used in the film industry. I am going for a beefier option using food as my analogy. After all everyone loves to eat but not everyone loves to bear arms.

Warning : Vegetarians and non-beef lovers please find your adequate substitutions.

There are so many McDonalds and so little haute cuisine in the film industry nowadays. The fast-food actors heavily out-weigh the Filet Mignons.

Let us start with the rudimentary ingredients you Big Mac actors...
A frozen patty, a standard bun of processed white bread with sexy tasteless sesame seeds on top, iceberg frozen lettuce, artificially sweetened ketchup & mayo, onions and a pickle to show you off.

So Big Mac's, you look good in photos and on film but you are processed and sometimes you look and taste awful in person. Mind you, you will always find your audience though, those who enjoy a bit of junk from time to time and those who are junk addicts. Think U.S.
You are far more successful than your counterpart because you are quick, cheap and can be replaced very easily by a carbon copy.

Now comes preparation...
Your local high-school drop-out can cook you up. Fast-food training is all that is needed so, sign up to your local money grabbing establishment and get your two hours of training a week. It's all you need to succeed, promise. Hit that processing machine because God forbid your patty measures slightly thicker than the norm. Thinner can be tolerated because it means people get less than what they pay for, so the corporation makes a profit. Just like not stacking the fries up to the top or giving 1 packet of ketchup for the extra large, semi-filled, fries.

As long as you have the basic ingredients you are on your way to the audience; but wait!
Common practice at McDonalds: When the restaurant is busy you get cooked up even if no one orders you and if you sit without an audience for too long (15min.) you are thrown in the trash!!! gasp.

But, Big Mac, I am sure you enjoy yourself. Well done, you look like every other Big Mac, you get gobbled up, you rarely get burnt and the corporation makes a lot of money off your bun. Congratulations, with a minimum preparation, basic ingredients and false good looks you will blend into the crowd quite nicely. You are bland.

How about being you? How about being a gourmet actor?

You, Filet Mignon actor, look good too in photos and on film but you are unique. Your grain is individual, your garnish is never identical and sometimes you don't look that appealing but, oh my, you still taste so good.

You can get cooked up in many different ways...
Blue, bloody, rare, medium rare, medium, medium well, well. You can be grilled, stewed, stir-fried, panfried, oven cooked, spiced, sweetened, covered in chocolate, mushroom, pepper, blue cheese sauce...The list goes on and on and on.

You need the best preparations and are taken on by the best, trained, committed Chef's out there because they have the guts and love to prepare and cook you up,  unlike your average fast-food joint.
When you get a complex order like cooked rare, you might fail miserably because you have to be cooked at the right temperature, but you are willing to take that risk.

Now, I know you are only available in high end restaurants nowadays, especially in the U.S., but in Europe, some areas of North America and other worldly destinations one can find a gem like you at a local butcher, brasserie, bistro.

You are ready to work hard to be found, you will always fight for your inclusion in the industry and you will be ordered by those who don't enjoy junk and aren't into you solely for the money, because you may not be a sure-thing but you are certainly better tasting than your counterpart.

I have seen Filet Mignon actors quit and grind themselves up into a standard patty, freeze and go get fast-food training to be a Big Mac, but I believe you can be better than a processed piece of meat. How about being a Filet Mignon burger? Don the sesame bun from time to time but you will be meatier and far tastier. Don't grind yourself up and add trans fat & MSG to be like everyone else.

As an experiment I am going to cook up a frozen patty and a Filet Mignon and see which one my dog eats first.

I know some of you out there would choose a Big Mac over a filet Mignon or would want to be junk rather than premium...Has today's consumerism really killed our taste buds?

I asked a question on my facebook, not many responded... scared maybe?... But of the new faces out there in the industry these have been voted your beefy gourmet actors:

Ryan Gosling, James Franco, Andrew Garfield, Paul Dano, Anne Hathaway, James McAvoy, Amanda Seyfried, Natalie Portman, Amy Adams.

Mature Beef: Meryl Streep, Daniel Day Lewis, Forest Whitaker, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Kate Winslet, Christian Bale, Al Pacino, Dustin Hoffman, Blu Mankuma, Colin Firth, Michael Pena, Holly Hunter, Benicio Del Torro, Sean Penn, Hillary Swank, Ralph Fiennes, Cate Blanchett, Robert DeNiro

Keep them coming...I might disagree with your nominations but that's life.

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